Become a Better Lover: Give Your Goddess These 3 Gifts

Photo by Sky Dancer

Master these 3 gifts and you will be able to honor the Goddess in your life.

Give Her Your Masculine Presence

Spacious awareness is one of the qualities of masculine energy. When you step out of mental chatter and are fully present in the moment, she will feel it and want to open to you. Women like to feel special and, when you focus your full attention on her she will begin to feel like the Goddess that she is.

If she is open to physical touch and the setting is appropriate, greet her is with a melting hug. If you are taller, bend your knees and align with her, belly-to-belly, heart-to-heart. Place your right hand on her heart and your left hand on her lower back, as you hold her, breathe with her. When the hug ends, look deeply into her eyes without speaking. See the Goddess within her and let her see the God within you. Then, share something that you appreciate about her, "You look radiant tonight."

Listen to Her Body

Flow is one of the qualities of feminine energy. In order to be in her flow, a woman needs to open her heart, connect with her body and her breath. Spend as much time listening to her body, as you do to her words. Tune into her breath. Is her breath shallow or deep? How is she holding her body? Is her body tense or relaxed? How does her heart feel? Is it open or closed? Allow your presence to help her to open her heart and relax her body. This happens when she trusts you and feels she can relax and surrender into the moment. The more present you are the more she can surrender.

One way to tune into her body is by lying next to her- either spooning behind her with your hand over her heart or facing her in the Scissors Position. (Scissors Position- one of her legs between yours and her other leg is resting on top of your hip.) Then, begin to breathe with her. If you are facing her, you can also gaze into each other's eyes as you breathe together.

Try exploring touch in a variety of ways. Touch has a qualitative difference depending on the intention you have when you touch someone. Are you touching them to give them pleasure or to take pleasure for yourself? Are they tolerating your touch or drinking it in with relish. Be sensitive to how you give and receive touch. Explore touching each other while holding different intentions- give, take, accept, allow, adore, and tolerate. See what you discover through your touching process.

Try something new- blindfold her and spend an hour caressing every part of her body, except her yoni. (Yoni is a Sanskrit word, meaning "cosmic matrix," which we use in Tantra instead of the term "vagina.") Use your fingers, lips, hands, feathers, flowers and even food. When her whole body is vibrating with desire it will be easier to listen to what her body wants sexually.

Also, remember that women enjoy giving, as well as receiving. Give your Goddess a chance to give you pleasure too. See if she can read your body. Tell her how you like to be touched. You might want to let her blindfold you and touch you body everywhere accept your vajra, ("vajra," means thunderbolt in Sanskrit and is the word we use in Tantra instead of "penis.") to get you vibrating as well. Allow pleasure to flow and guide you into lovemaking if that feels right to both of you.

When you are making love, let go any ideas you have about what "should" occur, let pleasure be your guide. Let go of expectations and see what unfolds. Be respectful of each other. Allow your body-wisdom to guide you both into places neither of you may have been to before.

Honor Her Temple and Close the Gate

After making love, take time to honor and appreciate the connection you shared. Snuggle and breathe together for a few minutes. Intercourse involves entering the woman's body, her "temple." After sex of any kind, but especially after intercourse, she needs time to integrate her experience. One way to facilitate this is to end your sacred time together by placing your hand over her yoni. Be very present and hold space for her so she can allow her experience to integrate physically, emotionally and spiritually. Then, consciously close the gate of her yoni. This ritual helps a woman to ground back into her body and it creates a sense of completion. It also makes a woman feel that she is being honored and treated with care.

Thanks for taking the time to read this article. Go out and apply what you have learned. Being a better lover means creating a world with more love in it and the world can always use more love.

Photo by Sky Dancer
http://www.modelmayhem.com/137616

(C)Copyright 2010, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day- Let Go of Past and Future

Tantra is about living in the present moment. Past and future only exist in the mind. Being present is our natural state of awareness. As babies we know the beauty of being in the freshness of each new moment. Yet, pretty early in life our parents and our culture do their best to get us out of the Now. While happily being in the moment, we were told to eat when we weren't hungry, made to go to sleep when we weren't tired, forced to get up early for school, and told to stop playing and come inside, so a visitor could grill us about what we want to be when we grow up.

Let's face it we live in a world obsessed with past and future. The news recaps the past; advertising tells what we need to be happy in the future. Reclaiming the joy of living in the Now can feel like a challenge at times. How can we reclaim the joy of being fully present in the Now?

Step 1- Develop the Witness. Notice when you are not in the moment. The witness is that part of us that watches what is happening in an unattached way. When I am lost in past or future I feel anxious, worried, or discontent. Past or future is a good place to hide when things aren't going the way I planned. When I activate the Witness, it is easy to notice if I am lost in past or future. Then I return present moment awareness.

Step 2- Be Present. Presence arises when your essential nature -Awareness, awakens to itself in each moment. Awareness is beyond space and time, beyond life and death. When you are present, you let go of past and future. You surrender to the moment. There is no resistance to what is. Being present is not only about being aware of what is happening on the level of form, it is being aware of the very space in which all forms come and go.

Most people have had moments of Presence, even if they didn't call it that. Have you ever had the experience of watching a sunset? The world became still and all thoughts disappeared, as you sat in awe aware of the beauty unfolding before you. Or perhaps you have had the experience of running a race, skiing or riding your bike and suddenly you entered "The Zone" where you were one with everything, and your movements were effortless. Or when looking into the eyes of a newborn baby or your beloved, have you ever felt yourself melting into them until all sense of separation dissolved and you experienced Oneness? In all these situations, Presence emerged as you became liberated from identification with the thinking mind and surrendered into the direct experience of The Now.

Step 3- Accept the Now. Living in the Now, means accepting everything going on around you and within you exactly as it is in that moment. Acceptance means letting of outcome. It does not mean that you are a victim. You can make a conscious choice to shift what is happening through your actions and intentions. When you accept each moment as it is, the quality of Being becomes palpable and stress vanishes.

By developing the witness, living in the present moment and accepting what is, you will discover that you can learn to let go of living in the past. By aligning with your essential nature, spiritual wakefulness is arrived upon naturally.

www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com
www.TantraForAwakening.com
(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day - Practice Opening and Presence Daily

If your desire is to awaken from the dream called life, then daily practice is essential. You will develop a natural vigilance and notice when you get lost and identified with your story.

Develop a daily practice in which you open yourself to what is arising and experience being in the moment, just as it is. Throughout the day notice when you are caught in a mind-stream of incessant thoughts, creating a story around past and future, losing touch with what is real and call your self back into the present moment.

Keep enough awareness in the body and notice if you begin to contract. As soon as you feel contraction allow yourself to open fully to whatever is arising. Presence and opening don’t require changing what is. Accept each moment. When you bring acceptance into each moment life naturally flows because there is no resistance.

www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com
www.TantraForAwakening.com
(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day - Conscious Breathing

An important aspect of Tantra is the practice of presence. A gentle way to begin being more present is to allow yourself to notice your breath several times a day. Instead of “doing” a formal practice, you just become aware of the breath, as it is, for 10-20 seconds and then go back to your usual state of awareness.

Focus on your breath several times a day. Begin by noticing it 4 times a day and then gradually increase it to 4 times an hour. As you become aware of the breath you will notice it naturally becomes more calm and deep. This practice comes from Danial Odier’s, Desire the Tantric Path to Awakening. In it he recommends several types of short practices, he calls micro-practices. He suggests they are a natural way to begin bringing Tantra into daily life, rather than trying to force a longer practice, such as a prolonged sitting mediation. I have found that these micro-practices are very helpful in bringing increased awareness into every aspect of my life.

http://www.danielodier.com/ENGLISH/entree_e.html

(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.
www.TantraForAwakening.com
www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com

Tantra Tip of the Day-Being Present

What does it mean to be present? Being present is more than paying attention to what is happening in this world of form. Being present is being aware of the stillness in which everything arises. There is a luminous quality to this awareness. It is always present, just underneath the surface of whatever is occurring. Try this several times today - stop, be still, become present, and notice the spacious awareness in which everything arises. How does this color the rest of your day?