This “script” is a good way to initiate a conversation about your sexual history and to ask someone else to share their sexual history with you. Review your answers to the statements below. Practice saying them out loud in front of a mirror. Next, share this process with a friend or lover. Ideally, this is done prior to finding yourself in a sexually charged situation.
1. “The last time I got tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) was…”
2. A. “The tests I had done were…” B. “The results of those tests were…”
A Comprehensive STI Panel consists of: HIV, Syphilis (Rapid Plasma Reagin test), Oral Herpes (HSV-1), Genital Herpes (HSV-2), HPV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C. Female testing usually includes a Pap Smear and wet mount to check for other common vaginal infections.
3. “My sexual orientation is…” (Straight, Gay, Bi, Transgender, Fluid…)
4. “My relationship status is…” (Single. Dating. Living with a lover. Married. In an open relationship with one or more persons. Fluid bonded with one or more persons.)
5. “My current relationship agreements that you need to be aware of are…”
6. “My safer sex practices and/or boundaries are…”
7. “I use___________ to prevent unwanted pregnancies.”
8. Share any risky activities you may have experienced since you were last tested.
9. Then ask the other person, “How about you?” Listen closely to what they say and how they say it… Ask questions, if you need clarification.
10. If, after you both have shared your sexual histories you decide to engage in sex, take time to discuss what sexual activities you are open to at this time and what is off the menu. Share you desires, fears and “healthy boundaries.” Healthy boundaries are what you need to feel safe and stay open; they are dynamic and can expand as well as contract. Intimacy grows when you stay present, are authentic and communicate clearly using “I” statements.
©2015 Crystal Dawn Morris, Love and Freedom Coach, Tantra Teacher, ISTA Faculty