I do Tantra Coaching Sessions with individuals and couples, both in person and over the phone. People experience results that are powerful, practical and enhance their lives and relationships very quickly. I am excited with this new video. I hope you find the information helpful. Comments are appreciated.
Please call if you have questions or want to book a session. 928-282-5483 Learn more www.TantraForAwakening.com
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
A Tantrika Speaks Out on Prostate Cancer and Recovery...
This was written by my friend Jivana Kennedy. I agree with Jivana that the time has come to heal our sexual wounds both individually and collectively.
Prostate cancer, breast cancer, ovarian cancer, uterine cancer, testicular cancer.... these diseases have all reached epidemic proportions in the 21st century.
And I believe that they all have something in common. Our world has been laboring under the oppression of a sex negative attitude for many thousands of years.
Take just a moment and consider the idea that it is through sexual energy that all of us come to be alive. And to take that out one degree further, all of nature is the product of sexual energy at various levels. Without it, none of the life forms we see all around us would exist.
I think I must have entered this life with the soul of a Tantrika because I became interested in and curious about sexual energy at a very young age. And that predisposition eventually led me into the buddhafield of an Indian Tantric Master, now known throughout the world as Osho.
Osho said that a human being will begin to feel the stirrings of sexual energy at around thirteen or fourteen years of age, and he or she will begin to die, around thirteen or fourteen years after that stirring leaves the body. The 'stirring' he was speaking of was the awakening of what is called in the East, kundalini energy.
You are undoubtedly familiar with the symbol of kundalini energy, because it is represented in the logo of The American Medical Association. It is the symbol of a coiled serpent wrapped around a staff. And yet, the medical establishment has been for the most part, as in the dark about sexual energy and its crucial role in health and well being, as has been the rest of our culture. Until now.
The coiled serpent of kundalini, or sexual energy lies coiled at the base of the spine, or what is called in the East, the first chakra. Chakras are energy centers in the body, and for the sake of simplicity we will refer to them as seven. Just as you see in the AMA logo, the coiled serpent of kundalini is designed to make its way up the staff, which represents the spinal column of a human being.
When the kundalini energy rises it allows the chakras to be fully charged, and the body to become fully electrified. But without knowledge of how to allow this energy to rise, it is never cultivated to its fullest capacity, and the body and it's immune system along with many other vital functions is compromised.
Modern medicine has found many effective ways to treat this situation, but I feel that any true healing lies in understanding the underlying causes, and creating change at that level. Most humans in our culture have been deprived of the vast amounts of human love, touch, nurturing and knowledge of the body and sexuality that would be optimal and necessary for the fullest flowering of our human potential as vibrant, vital and sexually alive people. And that aliveness is not dependent upon being in a relationship. It is every persons birthright, regardless of their relationship status.
I have always believed that the human body is capable of maintaining a disease free condition, and I believe that the appropriate nurturing of our life force is an important key to achieving that level of health, balance, vitality, and overall well-being.
Jivana Kennedy at http://www.TantricHealingTouch.com
I also offer Tantric coaching sessions designed with this in mind. Learn more about my sessions http://www.tantraforawakening.com/coaching.html
Prostate cancer, breast cancer, ovarian cancer, uterine cancer, testicular cancer.... these diseases have all reached epidemic proportions in the 21st century.
And I believe that they all have something in common. Our world has been laboring under the oppression of a sex negative attitude for many thousands of years.
Take just a moment and consider the idea that it is through sexual energy that all of us come to be alive. And to take that out one degree further, all of nature is the product of sexual energy at various levels. Without it, none of the life forms we see all around us would exist.
I think I must have entered this life with the soul of a Tantrika because I became interested in and curious about sexual energy at a very young age. And that predisposition eventually led me into the buddhafield of an Indian Tantric Master, now known throughout the world as Osho.
Osho said that a human being will begin to feel the stirrings of sexual energy at around thirteen or fourteen years of age, and he or she will begin to die, around thirteen or fourteen years after that stirring leaves the body. The 'stirring' he was speaking of was the awakening of what is called in the East, kundalini energy.
You are undoubtedly familiar with the symbol of kundalini energy, because it is represented in the logo of The American Medical Association. It is the symbol of a coiled serpent wrapped around a staff. And yet, the medical establishment has been for the most part, as in the dark about sexual energy and its crucial role in health and well being, as has been the rest of our culture. Until now.
The coiled serpent of kundalini, or sexual energy lies coiled at the base of the spine, or what is called in the East, the first chakra. Chakras are energy centers in the body, and for the sake of simplicity we will refer to them as seven. Just as you see in the AMA logo, the coiled serpent of kundalini is designed to make its way up the staff, which represents the spinal column of a human being.
When the kundalini energy rises it allows the chakras to be fully charged, and the body to become fully electrified. But without knowledge of how to allow this energy to rise, it is never cultivated to its fullest capacity, and the body and it's immune system along with many other vital functions is compromised.
Modern medicine has found many effective ways to treat this situation, but I feel that any true healing lies in understanding the underlying causes, and creating change at that level. Most humans in our culture have been deprived of the vast amounts of human love, touch, nurturing and knowledge of the body and sexuality that would be optimal and necessary for the fullest flowering of our human potential as vibrant, vital and sexually alive people. And that aliveness is not dependent upon being in a relationship. It is every persons birthright, regardless of their relationship status.
I have always believed that the human body is capable of maintaining a disease free condition, and I believe that the appropriate nurturing of our life force is an important key to achieving that level of health, balance, vitality, and overall well-being.
Jivana Kennedy at http://www.TantricHealingTouch.com
I also offer Tantric coaching sessions designed with this in mind. Learn more about my sessions http://www.tantraforawakening.com/coaching.html
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tantra for Awakening Welcome Video
I just created this video with my friend Wes Wolcott, a Sky Dancing buddy. He really made the process easy and fun. He shot and edited it in less than a day. Check him out on Facebook. Please watch and leave a comment here or on Facebook. It is also up on my You Tube page which is CrystalSedona.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tantra Tip of the Day- Love Feeds the Soul
MAN NEEDS TO BE NEEDED. It is one of the most fundamental needs of human beings. Unless one is cared for, one starts dying. Unless one feels that he is significant to somebody -- at least to somebody -- his whole life becomes insignificant. Hence, LOVE IS THE GREATEST THERAPY THERE IS. The world needs therapy because the world is missing love. IN A REALLY LOVING WORLD, NO THERAPY WILL BE NEEDED AT ALL; love will be enough, more than enough.
HUGGING IS ONLY A GESTURE OF LOVE, OF WARMTH, OF CARING. The very feel of the warmth flowing from the other person melts many illnesses in you, melts the ice-like cold ego. It makes you a child again. Psychologists are well aware of the fact now that unless a child is hugged, kissed, he misses some nourishment. JUST AS THE BODY NEEDS FOOD, THE SOUL NEEDS LOVE. You can give the child all the physical needs, all the physical comforts -- but if hugging is missing, the
child will not grow into a wholesome being; he will remain somewhere deep down sad, uncared for, neglected, ignored. He was nursed, but he
was not mothered.
It has been observed that if a child is not hugged, he starts
shrinking, he can even die. Although everything else was provided for-- as far as the body is concerned every care was taken - - but if no love surrounded the child, he becomes isolated, he becomes disconnected from existence. LOVE IS OUR CONNECTION, LOVE IS OUR VERY ROOT. Just as you breathe... for the body it is absolutely essential -- stop breathing and you are no more -- in the same way love is the inner breath. THE SOUL LIVES BY LOVING.
Analysis won't do it, wit and clarity, knowledge and scholarship won't do it. You can know all there is to know about therapy -- you can become an expert -- but if you don't know the art of love, you remain
only on the surface of the miracle of therapy. The moment you start feeling for the patient, for the one who is suffering... OUT OF A HUNDRED CASES, NINETY PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT BEEN LOVED... If you start feeling the need for love of the patient, and if
you can fulfill the need, there will be an almost magical change in the condition of the patient.
LOVE IS CERTAINLY THE MOST THERAPEUTIC PHENOMENON!
HUGGING IS ONLY A GESTURE OF ONENESS. EVEN THE GESTURE HELPS! And if the hug is authentic and true -- not just a gesture, but your heart is also in it -- it can be a magical tool, it can be a miracle, it can transform the whole situation instantly. Hugging gives you an immediate contact with the child within. If you hug somebody with warmth, with love -- if it is not just an impotent gesture -- if it is meaningful, significant. .. If your heart is flowing through it,immediately you come in contact with the child, with the innocent child. And to contact that innocent child is therapeutic.
And the innocent child, surfacing even for a single moment, makes a tremendous difference -- because the innocence of the child is always healthy and whole, uncorrupted. You have reached to the innermost core
of the person, where no corruption has ever entered. You have reached to the virgin core. AND JUST MAKING THE VIRGIN CORE THROB AGAIN WITH LIFE IS ENOUGH. You have started, you have triggered a process of healing.
OSHO
The Wild Geese and the Water
Ch #4: Soul: Living by loving
I am in Buddha Hall
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Awakening the Full Body Orgasm Workshop in Sedona, AZ
Awakening the Ecstatic Body-The Full Body Orgasm and Beyond
A Weekend of Sky Dancing Tantra
May 22-23, 2010 in Sedona, AZ
Saturday 9:30am-9:30pm and Sunday 10am-6pm
In this experiential weekend you will:
Open your "Secret Love Channel"
Learn the 3 steps to the Ecstatic Response
Experience orgasmic energy throughout your body
Explore the multi-orgasmic response in men and women
Experience a Juicy Sensory Awakening Ritual
Come and learn how to awaken bliss in every cell of your being. Experience a full body orgasm outside a sexual context. You will leave this weekend feeling more alive and with a tool kit for creating bliss in your life and relationships. This event is open to individuals and couples. There is no nudity in this class.
Early Bird $250 paid by May 1, 2010
$300 per person / $550 per couple Register at http://www.TantraforAwakening.com
This workshop is facilitated by Crystal Dawn Morris, a Certified Sky Dancing Tantra Teacher, assisted by Jim Miller. Crystal is known for her ability to create a safe space where magic unfolds. Her workshops and coaching sessions give people practical tools for ecstatic living.
Tantra uses sexual energy to expand awareness and experience ecstasy. It teaches people how to move their sexual energy from their genitals, up to the top of their head, and everywhere in between, allowing the entire physical and energetic body to become ecstatic. When the sexual energy reaches the crown it can expand a persons awareness of the mystical realms, allowing them to recognize they are Divine Consciousness in human form.
A full body orgasm is the experience of feeling your whole body vibrating with orgasmic energy. This can be done outside of a sexual context as well as while making love. Begin to activate your orgasmic energy by following these steps.
7 steps for Opening the Inner Flute:
1) Stand with your knees hip width apart and slightly bent.
2) Breathe through your mouth and deep into the belly, allowing it to expand begin activating your sexual energy.
3) Once you have master the belly breath you can increase the intensity by inhaling as if you are sipping through straw. Exhale with an open mouth and release a deep sound from the belly. Sound also intensifies the expansion of energy.
4) Now, allow your pelvis to begin rocking. Keeping the knees bent, let your pelvis rotate freely. As you inhale rock the hips back, arching the small of the back. As you exhale, tuck the tail bone under, flattening the small of the back. Breath, sound and movement are the 3 Keys of Sky Dancing Tantra.
5) Next, add the PC pump. As you inhale squeeze the pelvic floor muscles pulling them upwards and as you exhale let them relax back down. It feels a bit like you are trying to stop and start a stream of urine. These are sometimes called Kegel exercises.
6) Put all the steps together. As you inhale imagine you are breathing the energy up from your root to your heart. Practice this until you feel the energy pulsing from your root to your heart. You can play with speeding up and slowing down your respiratory rate.
7) Once you have mastered connecting root and heart move the energy up to the crown. Practice until you can feel the energy flowing from your root to your crown. See yourself as a rainbow bridge of light connecting Earth and Sky.
This is a wonderful way to get your energy flowing. Once the Inner Flute is open you are ready to learn how to expand the energy and experience Full Body Orgasm. that will be the focus of the workshop.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Tantra Tip of the Day- Building the Tribe
I just spent an amazing week taking the Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Practitioner Training with Dez, Triambika and Robin Lynn at the Sedona Temple. I really enjoyed the community we created together and I made some great new friends. To learn more about the training read what I wrote at the School of Temple Arts blog.
I think one of the most important things we can do right now is to connect with our tribe and build a base for Spiritual Shamanic Tantra communities to grow and support this work. Find like-minded others and let them know about this path. Have a party. Start a Meetup group, or begin a practice circle.
A great way to connect with a bunch of people is to come to the Conference here in Sedona May 7-9. It is open to anyone who wants to learn more about this work.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
About Women and Orgasms
You Ask Why Sometimes I Say Stop
by Marge Piercy
You ask why sometimes I say stop
why sometimes I cry no
while I shake with pleasure.
What do I fear, you ask,
why don't I always want to come
and come again to that molten
deep sea center where the nerves
fuse open and the brain
and body shine with a black wordless light
fluorescent and heaving like plankton.
If you turn over the old refuse
of sexual slang, the worn buttons
of language, you find men
talk of spending and women
of dying.
You come in a torrent and ease
into limpness. Pleasure takes me
farther and farther from the shore
in a series of breakers, each
towering higher before it
crashes and spills flat.
I am open then as a palm held out,
open as a sunflower, without
crust, without shelter, without
skin, hideless and unhidden.
How can I let you ride
so far into me and not fear?
Helpless as a burning city,
how can I ignore that the extremes
of pleasure are fire storms
that leave a vacuum into which
dangerous feelings (tenderness,
affection, l o v e) may rush
like gale force winds.
by Marge Piercy
You ask why sometimes I say stop
why sometimes I cry no
while I shake with pleasure.
What do I fear, you ask,
why don't I always want to come
and come again to that molten
deep sea center where the nerves
fuse open and the brain
and body shine with a black wordless light
fluorescent and heaving like plankton.
If you turn over the old refuse
of sexual slang, the worn buttons
of language, you find men
talk of spending and women
of dying.
You come in a torrent and ease
into limpness. Pleasure takes me
farther and farther from the shore
in a series of breakers, each
towering higher before it
crashes and spills flat.
I am open then as a palm held out,
open as a sunflower, without
crust, without shelter, without
skin, hideless and unhidden.
How can I let you ride
so far into me and not fear?
Helpless as a burning city,
how can I ignore that the extremes
of pleasure are fire storms
that leave a vacuum into which
dangerous feelings (tenderness,
affection, l o v e) may rush
like gale force winds.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tantra Tip of the Day- Healing the Emotional Body
Healing the emotional body is essential if you are going to live in the present moment with an open heart. Our culture generally judges the "negative emotions," like anger, fear, sadness and grief. These emotions don't look pretty and make other people feel uncomfortable. Because we receive this message as children we tend to suppress or deny these emotions by sweeping them under the rug. Our hope is that they will go away, instead, they become unconscious. They live outside our awareness and often run our lives. When we are triggered, out of no where they suddenly overwhelm us; we lash out in anger, withdraw in fear, become depressed, get sick or create a drama. Does this sound familiar?
Learning how to express and release your emotions allows you to heal your emotional baggage, become emotionally aware and stay emotionally current. It is important to begin by stating your intention is for your optimal healing and integration at the soul level and that in the process of this expression you will not hurt yourself, or anyone or anything else. Seven ways of expressing and releasing your emotions include; screaming silently into our hand, power stomping, pillow screaming, pillow hitting, pelvic thrusting, ritual wailing and tantrum-ing. There is also a practice called "Aspecting" which allows you to dialog with the person, situation or internal process you are releasing so you can clear and understand both aspects of the situation. Read more about these tools in Sacred Sexual Healing- The Shaman Method of Sex Magic by Baba Dez Nichols and Kamamla Devi.
Staying Emotionally Current
The beauty of this work is that it allows you to heal the past and reclaim your power. Emotions are life force energy. When they are denied you feel numb, depleted and/or disconnected. As you learn how to process your feelings you begin to feel more alive, aware, and present. By healing the emotional body you reclaim your birthrite as an ecstatic being. By using these tools you can let go of the past and become emotionally current. You process emotions as they arise. In order to be an effective sexual healer you need to heal your own emotional wounds and you need to be comfortable helping others traverse their emotional terrain.
Learning how to express and release your emotions allows you to heal your emotional baggage, become emotionally aware and stay emotionally current. It is important to begin by stating your intention is for your optimal healing and integration at the soul level and that in the process of this expression you will not hurt yourself, or anyone or anything else. Seven ways of expressing and releasing your emotions include; screaming silently into our hand, power stomping, pillow screaming, pillow hitting, pelvic thrusting, ritual wailing and tantrum-ing. There is also a practice called "Aspecting" which allows you to dialog with the person, situation or internal process you are releasing so you can clear and understand both aspects of the situation. Read more about these tools in Sacred Sexual Healing- The Shaman Method of Sex Magic by Baba Dez Nichols and Kamamla Devi.
Staying Emotionally Current
The beauty of this work is that it allows you to heal the past and reclaim your power. Emotions are life force energy. When they are denied you feel numb, depleted and/or disconnected. As you learn how to process your feelings you begin to feel more alive, aware, and present. By healing the emotional body you reclaim your birthrite as an ecstatic being. By using these tools you can let go of the past and become emotionally current. You process emotions as they arise. In order to be an effective sexual healer you need to heal your own emotional wounds and you need to be comfortable helping others traverse their emotional terrain.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Tantra Tip of the Day-The Gentle Art of Blessing
I beautiful video about the importance of blessings and gratitude in creating the world around us.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Tantra Tip of the Day -Live From the Heart
In Sky Dancing Tantra we begin and end every practice with the Heart Salutation. It is a way of calling ourselves present and entering sacred time.
When your heart is open, It is easy to feel connected. Love natural flows out into the world. The open-heart loves fearlessly.
The Heart Salutation
Extend your arms towards the earth, palms together. Inhale, as you bring them to your heart while keeping your palms together. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine in with the Sanskrit salutation Namaste. "Namaste" means, “I see the Divine in you as a reflection of the Divine within me.” In this example you are acknowledging the world as a mirror for seeing the Divine within yourself. Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.
Bring your palms together pointing to the earth, inhale up to your heart.
Bow and acknowledge the Divine in each other, as you exhale. You may choose to use the Sanskrit salutation Namaste. "Namaste" means, “I see the Divine in you as a reflection of the Divine within me.” Inhale back to your own heart.
Then exhale the heart energy back down to the earth.
Place your hands over your heart. Become aware of your heart center and breathe into it for a few minutes. Gradually begin to relax and open as you breathe into the center of your chest. Notice if your heart is open, closed or somewhere in between. Close your eyes and think of someone or something you love deeply and become aware f yourself as Love. recognizing that love is something you are not something you do. When you are ready open your eyes. How do you feel? Does the world seem different?
(C) Copyright 2010, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Share Your Gifts-Create Beauty and Abundance
The day before yesterday, I bought a pot of tulips that were still tight in the bud. Today their pink lips began to open and I could feel the gift of their beauty. Each one of us have so much beauty inside us to share. Spring is a great time to take a risk and share some gift we've been hiding with the world.
Blossoming Open, Sharing Your Gifts with the World
“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.” Martha Graham
This is an amazing time and the world really needs everyone to show up fully. The time to blossom is now. In the past, you may have held back out of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of being seen. Fear of your own power and magnificence. The tendency to hold back and play it safe no longer serves you or the world.
You can no longer wait for some imagined future to act. The future does not hold the answer. You will not be more tomorrow, than you are today. Your unique gifts are needed in the world. That is why the time to blossom and share your unique medicine is now. Whatever is holding you back turn and face it. Ask the universe for the support you need you fully manifest your gifts and talents in the world.
Be generous; let the world see your true face. Decide right now to live for today and to share your love, your heart, your wisdom with others. Your generosity and courage will inspire others to blossom too. What would the world be like if everyone believed they were enough and were able to open their hearts and share their love freely?
Can you imagine such a place? We can only create what we can imagine. So imagine yourself bringing forth your Divinity. Imagine yourself creating a better world for your friends, family, children and grandchildren. Imagine a world based on love, respect, acceptance, and harmony and abundance.
3 Keys to Abundance
1) Let go of resistance.
Sit quietly and see if you notice any areas of resistance in your body or mind? Are you holding onto beliefs that prevent abundance from flowing in your life?
2) Open up and feel the energy flow.
Spend a few minutes doing and energy inventory, where is your energy constricted? Relax and breathe into these areas and see if they expand. See if you can increase the feeling of aliveness in your body. Notice any changes in the flow of abundance in your life over the next few days.
3) Practice the art of giving and receiving.
Flow has two aspects giving and receiving. Both actions are important in keeping abundance flowing. Flow is dynamic. If we hoard out of fear, then the flow is diminished. If we aren’t open to receiving then flow is rerouted around us and someone else benefits but we stay in lack. Notice your relationship to giving and receiving. Does one seem more natural to you than the other? Practice giving and receiving today and see what you discover about yourself.
Blossoming Open, Sharing Your Gifts with the World
“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.” Martha Graham
This is an amazing time and the world really needs everyone to show up fully. The time to blossom is now. In the past, you may have held back out of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of being seen. Fear of your own power and magnificence. The tendency to hold back and play it safe no longer serves you or the world.
You can no longer wait for some imagined future to act. The future does not hold the answer. You will not be more tomorrow, than you are today. Your unique gifts are needed in the world. That is why the time to blossom and share your unique medicine is now. Whatever is holding you back turn and face it. Ask the universe for the support you need you fully manifest your gifts and talents in the world.
Be generous; let the world see your true face. Decide right now to live for today and to share your love, your heart, your wisdom with others. Your generosity and courage will inspire others to blossom too. What would the world be like if everyone believed they were enough and were able to open their hearts and share their love freely?
Can you imagine such a place? We can only create what we can imagine. So imagine yourself bringing forth your Divinity. Imagine yourself creating a better world for your friends, family, children and grandchildren. Imagine a world based on love, respect, acceptance, and harmony and abundance.
3 Keys to Abundance
1) Let go of resistance.
Sit quietly and see if you notice any areas of resistance in your body or mind? Are you holding onto beliefs that prevent abundance from flowing in your life?
2) Open up and feel the energy flow.
Spend a few minutes doing and energy inventory, where is your energy constricted? Relax and breathe into these areas and see if they expand. See if you can increase the feeling of aliveness in your body. Notice any changes in the flow of abundance in your life over the next few days.
3) Practice the art of giving and receiving.
Flow has two aspects giving and receiving. Both actions are important in keeping abundance flowing. Flow is dynamic. If we hoard out of fear, then the flow is diminished. If we aren’t open to receiving then flow is rerouted around us and someone else benefits but we stay in lack. Notice your relationship to giving and receiving. Does one seem more natural to you than the other? Practice giving and receiving today and see what you discover about yourself.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Women, Orgasms and the 3-Part Communication
The best way for a woman to expand her orgasmic potential is by getting to know her own body. Self-pleasuring (commonly called "masturbation") is a way of finding a deeper connection to your own life-force energy, which is the power of creation that flows through all of life. It can even be a spiritual practice when it is done with Presence, awe and reverence. Through self-pleasuring, a woman can learn to expand her awareness and capacity for Bliss.
Self-pleasuring allows you time to discover what excites you without being concerned about pleasing your partner. You get to experiment with different types of touch, pressure, speed and find new erogenous zones. I recommend self-pleasuring several times this week. Take your time and connect deeply with yourself. Let your inner body-wisdom guide you. As you touch yourself, stay present to where the energy flows. Allow your sessions to be an adventure in self-discovery.
Notice if any resistance comes up around self- pleasuring. If it does, ask yourself these questions: What is my relationship to pleasure? Do I make time for it in my life? How often? Do I find reasons for not giving myself pleasure? If you are in a habit of limiting the amount of pleasure in your life, explore what old beliefs you have about pleasure, sex, and masturbation. You may be harboring sexual shame or guilt. You may feel that spending time on yourself is wasteful or selfish. Now is a good time to reframe those beliefs by restating them in ways that are sex and pleasure-positive.
Once you have explored the nuances of pleasuring yourself and feel confident in your ability to bring yourself to orgasm, you may want to share this wisdom with your lover. Learning to share how you like to be loved is a great way to deepen intimacy with your partner and increases the likelihood of being touched in ways that most arouse and satisfy you. This requires an important communication skill, called the "3-Part Communication."
The 3-Part Communication
1) Acknowledge the person for something they are doing well: "I love it when you caress me back." or "Thank you for being willing to spend this time with me."
2) Ask for what you want: "What would feel even better to me in this moment is for you to touch me even more slowly."
3) Appreciate and acknowledge the change: " Oh yes. That feels so good! You are doing it just right." This communication style will dramatically increase the likelihood of being touched in a way that pleases you and makes your lover feel good too.
As you take personal responsibility for your desires being met, you will be want to release old beliefs that no longer serve you such as, "It's my lover’s job to magically figure out what turns me on." These kinds of ideas lead to feelings of being hurt and/or disappointed. Instead, recognize you are the generator of your orgasms. By learning what turns you on and asking for what feels good in the moment, you can expand your capacity for ecstasy.
Expanding your orgasm through the practice of self-pleasuring and expressing your sexual desires adds a whole new dimension to your lovemaking. It is a great way to increase self-awareness and expand your capacity for Bliss. It also adds juiciness to your sexual relationships. Enjoy!
(c)Copyright 2010 Crystal Dawn Morris Sedona, AZ
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