I have been feeling a deep need to let go of control, let go of directing the show, let go of being strongly in my masculine. This is a role I am comfortable with from many years being a teacher, midwife and mother. I am used to holding space for others, so they can feel safe. I am comfortable helping them explore their edges.
Now I am at the edge of a precipice. There is something essential just beyond what I can safely reach. I need to surrender into the unknown and trust that is it ok not to know. I need to let go and breathe into my heart. I need to trust this process called life. I need be willing to fall apart. I need to surrender and trust the process.
It is hard to do this alone, to hold space for myself. I long for a strong man to hold space for me. I long for my heart to open and trust this man. I want to see in his eyes that he believes in me and will be there at the end, no matter what. I long to surrender and fall apart with total abandon.
Where in your life do you need to surrender? What is your relationship to trust? What is your relationship to your inner masculine? How can you show up and support your inner feminine?
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Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Opening to Devotion - Rumi's Wedding Day
On Dec 17th I was at an event celebrating Rumi’s Wedding Day, the day he left his body. My friend Gabriella, recited the poems of Rumi, Hafiz and Lalla’s , actually she does more than recite their words she channels their presence through their words. She was backed up by a band of 4 men who accompanied her with drums, bells and didgeridoos. The magic of these Sufi poets and the beautiful music sat the tone of the evening.
The second half of the event was devoted to ziker, a dance of turning in a slow circle as Rumi did. As I danced I became aware of the energy of the ziker as masculine, one of entering into the emptiness. I then allowed myself the freedom to dance in a feminine way which was wild and passionate. I then experimented by going back and forth between the two forms of dance. In finally accepted that I was much more at home in the wild feminine form and I surrendered fully to my feminine passion.
At the end of the evening, as the last noted was played I dropped to the ground in surrender and at that moment my heart was flooded with devotion. I recognized the power of the masculine to hold the space and provided the container for my feminine passion to express herself. I was deeply moved to express my devotion to Gabriella and to the band members. I went up to each of them and bowed down to them and thanked them. I felt so much trust and presence in that moment, so much love. The depth of consciousness had penetrated me fully and I was one with the emptiness and I was not afraid. I was at peace.
The second half of the event was devoted to ziker, a dance of turning in a slow circle as Rumi did. As I danced I became aware of the energy of the ziker as masculine, one of entering into the emptiness. I then allowed myself the freedom to dance in a feminine way which was wild and passionate. I then experimented by going back and forth between the two forms of dance. In finally accepted that I was much more at home in the wild feminine form and I surrendered fully to my feminine passion.
At the end of the evening, as the last noted was played I dropped to the ground in surrender and at that moment my heart was flooded with devotion. I recognized the power of the masculine to hold the space and provided the container for my feminine passion to express herself. I was deeply moved to express my devotion to Gabriella and to the band members. I went up to each of them and bowed down to them and thanked them. I felt so much trust and presence in that moment, so much love. The depth of consciousness had penetrated me fully and I was one with the emptiness and I was not afraid. I was at peace.
Art by Andrew Gonzalez:
http://www.sublimatrix.com/
Learn more about Rumi's wedding Day : http://http//www.sedonacreativelife.com/pre1069.html
Learn more about Gabriella: http://www.gabrielleyoung.com/home.html
Learn more about Rumi's wedding Day : http://http//www.sedonacreativelife.com/pre1069.html
Learn more about Gabriella: http://www.gabrielleyoung.com/home.html
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