Feeling into Another's Deepest Heart

Someone in my Deida Connection Group asked how does one feel into another's deepest heart. This practice is a great to feel into both your heart and someone else's heart.

In SkyDancing Tantra we begin our practice by creating a Bubble. Seated across from one another, begin with a heart salutation- the acknowledgment of the divine in each other. Then create a bubble around yourselves to call yourselves into the present moment. Do this with your intention and by using your arms to define the bubble. Then, take things out of the bubble that don't serve you in this moment (past, distraction, anger etc.) Next, bring things into the bubble that will enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence etc.)

Next, offer an appreciation to the other person (I honor your heart...)
After that, share your intentions/desires, fears and boundaries related to the practice while the other person listens without judgment or commentary.

Why Boundaries? When I teach this practice in my classes, people often have resistance to setting boundaries. Boundaries are not walls, they are bridges. Where two people’s healthy boundaries meet is where intimacy happens.

Your boundary, is the edge that you feel safe moving up to but not beyond. Knowing your boundary allows you to feel safe and stay present right up to your edge. Boundaries are dynamic and can change, so it is important to check in with them periodically and update your partner if the have changed. Here are a few examples: “I need to end by 3pm.” “I only want you to touch my…” “I will keep my heart open and notice if I start to contract.”

Once you are in your Bubble then you can practice Eye Gazing. Begin by gazing into the other person’s left eye. Don’t try to look into both eyes at once. It is ok to change which eye you are gazing in if you feel called too. Just relax, breathe and allow the experience to unfold. Begin with five minutes or so and extend the time as you get more comfortable with the process. This is a great way to discover how willing you are to open, to be seen, to see the Divine in another and to see where resistance arises. This is a great practice to deepen your heart connection.

End with a heart salutation. The bubble you've created allows you to feel the support of the sacred as you continue with your practice.

The Importance of Healthy Boundaries

How do you create healthy boundaries in your relationships?

I was sharing with a friend today the about the importance of boundaries. This was a new concept to him. One of the most important things I teach in my Tantra classes is the importance of sharing your desires, fears and boundaries at the beginning of an exchange. I call this creating a bubble. Boundaries are critical because where two people’s healthy boundaries meet is where intimacy happens. Boundaries keep us present. When we know where our boundary is we can move right to the edge of it with full commitment. If we aren't sure of our boundary then it is easy to both, play it safe or over step it. Boundaries are dynamic and change from moment to moment, so it is important to stay aware of them.

Here is an outline of the practice. For a complete description see Margot Anand's, Art of Sexual Ecstasy.

Making a Bubble

Seated across from one another, begin with a heart salutation- the acknowledgment of the divine in each other.

Then create a bubble around yourselves to call yourselves into the present moment. Do this with your intention and by using your arms to define the bubble.

Then, take things out of the bubble that don't serve you in this moment (past, distraction, anger etc.) Next, bring things into the bubble that will enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence etc.)

Next, offer an appreciation to the other person (I honor your heart...)

After that, share your intentions, fears and boundaries related to the practice while the other person listens without judgment or commentary.

End with a heart salutation. The bubble you've created allows you to feel the support of the sacred as you continue with your practice.